Saturday night I was BRAVE! I had enjoyed my day having lunch with friends from my old job and attending a dear friends bridal shower. I got home and was ready for a nap.. However I’m doing all of this online dating crap and this guy started messaging me. I wasn’t super attracted to him but I didn’t have any concrete plans for the night so I decided what the hell I might as well go out him.

We decided to meet up at Green Pig Pub (bar/restaurant) downtown, I figured it was a good social place. Plus if it sucked I could always meet up with my old roomies Adam and Trevor for a fun night on the town. I arrived at GPP only to find that he wasn’t even on-time… I HATE that, which means he automatically lost points in my book. Finally when he did show up 20 MINUTES LATE he was definitely NOT the same guy I had been talking too… This guy was at least 10 years old than he said he was and he sure was missing the cute shaggy hair and decent style from his pics! Instead he was about 40 years old and dressed like Jerry Seinfeld, I know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but I knew immediately that this guy was not for me.



He sat down at the table and could barely even say hello. This wasn’t an “I’m shy” kind of awkwardness it was “I could be a serial killer” type of awkwardness. He wouldn’t make any decision for himself, he would only order what I was having even though he knew he wouldn’t like it. He attempted to tell me stories about his “life” which only involved people who work at clubs that where he goes to hangout by himself. Note: these people are not his friends!! Also within the first 10 minutes of meeting him he (for what reason I don’t know) started explaining the structure of a vagina to me… Okay, thanks mr crazy but I’m well aware of what a vagina is and how it works considering I have one and I doubt you’ve ever seen one!! This man kept trying to talk about porn, sex and all of this other random crap. All I could think about was how the hell do I get out of this?!

This was not your typical guy where you can say “well nice meeting you, I have to get going.” Nope that WOULD NOT work with this wako and I knew it… I had already sent the “help” text to Adam and Trevor to show up and save me but I feared it wouldn’t be soon enough. I’m not just kidding when I say I this guy would chop me up into little tiny bits and leave my remains scattered around the salt lake valley never to be found again! He was THAT CREEPY!!!

Then my lucky break came along. He said he needed to use the restroom and as he walked away I flagged our server down paid my half of the bill and literally RAN out the door! I continued to run down the street and around the corner where I ended up in another bar I know well. I called the boys the give them the update and I hid in the corner. I was seriously so scared that this guy was going to walk in and find me any second. The calls and texts from him started to flood in… Where are you? I miss you? Please come back? I need you? Can you say SCARY this is basically straight out of a horror flick! My nerves were going crazy and the second my friends walked in I would not let either of them leave my side.

They decided they didn’t want to hang out at the current spot so we went to a few other locations. Everywhere was dead. Then they mentioned they want to go to Green Pig Pub… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That’s where I left the guy! But they made a valid point that no guy would dare come up to me with them around (they are big and good looking) and if they did I wouldn’t have anything to worry about because they would take care of me.

As we walked back into GPP I glanced across the room and he was nowhere to be found halleluiah! My server came right up to me and said I made the right choice and that she would have done the same thing. She also said he threw a glass at the wall when he realized I wasn’t coming back. So now everyone that works there knows who I am and were applauding me and saying it was the best thing they had seen all day. It quickly turned into the funniest joke of the night. We decided to go hang out on the rooftop patio and while walking up the stairs (Adam followed by me and then Trevor) I saw him… OH NO I’M STUCK IN THE STAIRWELL WITH HIM AND THE BOYS DON’T KNOW THIS IS THE GUY… So I just looked straight forward not making any eye contact with him. When we got to the roof the first thing Trevor said was “did you see that guy, he was crazy!” I explained that was the guy. Next thing you know guess who’s back on the roof circling us giving me the evil eye?! The creeper!!! This went on for a while and more and more of my guy friends showed up to “protect me” and hang out. We didn’t stay there long because we all knew it just wasn’t a good idea.

Even after we left we figured out I would probably need an escort everywhere I went for the rest of the night. All and all the night ended up being a blast and I really think it’s funny that I ran out on him but it was still scary. I had my phone on silent and woke up Sunday morning with 71 missed calls and over 100 text messages from the guy! I haven’t heard from him since so hopefully he’s moved on with his creepy life!